Reuniting
by Richard0
Summary: Set during Ryan's last year at Berkeley. Ryan is living the college life and so far so good. He gives up on girls for good but when what happens when he keeps seeing a familiar girl from his past.future RM no ghosts or zombies involved
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hey people, okay first off this is just a test run. I don't have an official plan for it. Normally I'm not committed to my stories and I often get bored writing midway. I had another O.C story here dubbed "Entangled" and after four chapters it was deleted due to my lack of interest. This is my new project. I will try and work hard at it and make it as long as possible but if I decide to cut it short and end it at a wierd point don't get mad at me. I don't think I will do that this time but its not the first time its happened so you've been warned. Also if someone wants to volunteer to continue it incase I decide to can it please send me a message. By the way my dad might cut me off the internet pretty soon so I won't be able to update for a while but I'm surely going to try my best and submit these chapters. If you don't see an update in a while expect a bunch of chapters to come in at once because I will be writing daily. Wow long author's note. Anyways enjoy: (and if you don't enjoy just critisise and I'll do my best to be better)_

**Chapter 1:**_  
_

"**Come** on Ry you've been studying all day" A black haired youth stated. "I don't feel like playing soccer Damon." Ryan said, normally he would jump at the chance to play but these days he was stuck in a rut and it was starting to get conspicuous.

"Okay Ryan what is it with you? You haven't been yourself these past few days- no actually weeks now that I think about it."

Ryan was silent.

"This is clearly not some phase. What's wrong with you man? In my four years of college with you I've never seen you so depressed." Damon stated his caramel eyes throwing a look of concern over Ryan. Despite having his back turned to Damon he could feel his friend's gaze penetrating the wall he had built around himself.

Ryan gave in and turned, he tried to appear nonchalant but deceit wasn't his best of qualities and so his comrade didn't budge from where he was standing.

Damon scrunched his lips and sighed before rapidly taking out his cell phone and punching a few numbers. Before he could finish Ryan interrupted his actions.

"Man, don't worry about me. I'll be fine." He said giving a look at his black haired friend. "I just need to be alone." Ryan admitted turning back to his pile of papers which were all over his desk.

"Okay but we ARE going to talk about this." Ryan heard him say. He mumbled something and waved him off then a clatter of footsteps ensued before the door slammed shut.

Ryan was now alone and not for the first time either. It was funny how things turned out. Looking back he remembered that this was the exact same date where he met Sandy Cohen and parted with life in Chino altogether. So by this time seven years ago he would be sitting in Sandy's car as he revealed to him the world of Newport Beach.

If he had been asked, at that time where he would see himself in seven years. The answer would definitely not have been UC Berkeley; studying architecture. How much time had passed? So many events; friends were made; as were enemies.

Seth; Luke; Julie; Oliver; Theresa; Eddie; Lindsay; Trey; Jess; Johnny; Volchok; Sadie…his father and many more. The memories flashed in less than a second but he refused to acknowledge the recurring images of two spouses he was dearly attached too.

--Marissa Cooper and Taylor Townsend. Marissa's death was affecting him to this day. As Sandy had said he would not get over it. But he did get used to it. The nightmares were less frequent but they still occurred from time to time. Especially when he was feeling a bit down and these few weeks he hadn't really been feeling all that cheerfully.

Taylor; on the other hand was a different story. He missed her smile and her quirky ways. He still longed for her enthusiasm but it was definitely not meant to be. They had tried many times to re-install their relationship but there was always something missing. They could never go back to the way it was. She was still the same person but not the same personality he was driven to.

After that earthquake had happened they got so close to each other that they finally understood each other and from there it went downhill. After that they couldn't agree on anything and were stuck in a rut. She decided to go to Sorbonne after all and he went obviously went for Berkeley.

Berkeley was a dream. He met Damon, his roommate for four years who came from Riverside so he could relate to him. At first it was difficult because Ryan didn't trust him. But he warmed up to the guy after a few conversations. Apparently they had much in common. Both soccer fans and had a nice history with women. The difference was that Damon's life was pretty much the way Ryan wished his was. Not that he was jealous or anything because although Damon had some qualities about him which Ryan desired he still didn't have Ryan's experience which, he believed made him the man he was today.

Still he missed Seth sometimes. He had been receiving e-mails from him and he felt sorry for Seth because, from what he could tell, he was incredibly lonely. He had seen him last during the Christmas holidays and he didn't really like what he saw.

His sarcasm and good natured spirit was not as resilient as it had been. He was miserable but he didn't complain one bit which was the part that Ryan didn't like. If Seth didn't complain then he wasn't Seth Cohen. He sometimes wished he could be there for him and even though Damon was a fun guy to be around he really didn't share his feelings with him like he did with Seth.

It was also unfair that Ryan got to be with Sandy, Kirsten and Sophie when he got home while Seth was up there all alone without even Summer to lift his spirits. He sometimes felt guilty about not being there for him; who knows how many people there were giving him a hard time. It made him boil up inside. Ever since that day where he donated his blood to him his friendship with him had evolved but the worst part was that he couldn't enjoy that sort of evolution.

Ryan sighed, at least this was his last year here then he could go wherever he wanted and be with whomever he wanted to be. Not that he was complaining. This place was great but it wasn't Newport. He wanted his old pool house back, the lovely beach and the hangouts there that would exonerate his worries. He planned on rebuilding the Cohen house and taking the family back to Newport Beach.

Kirsten wouldn't mind and neither would Sophie Rose and once they agreed it would only be a matter of time before Sandy also pitched in.

He would bring his mother back with him too. God he hadn't seen her in so long. Ryan Atwood wasn't one who cried in his pillow every night for his mother but he certainly missed her. He worried about her constantly. Trey was also a concern he had. Despite their differences and that fateful event, he still missed his brother deeply.

After all if it wasn't for Trey teaching him the way of life in Chino he would be just like him. He didn't want Trey to die in some horrific accident knowing they had never made amends. Every time someone would give him a hard time back then, Trey would be the first to rally up his troops and start a war against that person.

He had been thrilled when he thought that Trey was going to settle in Newport. At first he had had doubts (and with good reason) but after a while, Trey appeared to have been adjusting. He had been rightfully angry with Trey but he now knew he should've known better then to go after him. Had someone gotten killed that day because of him, he would've regretted it for the rest of his life.

Frank had planned to find him but when he had heard of Julie's pregnancy. His hands were tied. So it was up to Ryan to aid his mother and brother. He was also treading slowly when it came to his relationship with his father.

After all it was his fault that Trey and his mother ended up where they were. But he was clearly sorry for his actions and even though Ryan had already given him a second chance he still didn't consider the man as a father.

His son Adam didn't seem to share his opinion though. Ryan couldn't believe how lucky his half-brother was to not have the old Frank Atwood and Julie Cooper or otherwise he would have turned out worse than he or Trey had ever been. After he finished college he planned to get close to Adam as much as he could. However it would be difficult with Kaitlin around. She and the boy were inseparable. Marissa would've been proud the change that had occurred in her sister.

She was now an engineer working in Gordon Bullit's company. She still hung out with the Ward brothers who were now following in Luke's path to become water polo players. From what Ryan had heard Luke didn't have sufficient talent to make in the water polo game so he opted to become a coach instead but he had reunited with his brothers and was now guiding them to avoid letting them make the same mistakes he had made in his path.

Seth had told him this information during Christmas. Apparently he had still kept contact with Zach about Atomic County. Zach being the water polo fan that he was had presented the information to him. The gang had all gotten together that Christmas. Ryan smiled as he remembered the happiness that had welled up inside him seeing all those old faces.

Luke and Zach were pretty much the same from his point of view and he had enjoyed catching up with them. The holidays would have been perfect if Seth had been his same old self. The distance between him and Summer had taken its toll on Seth. Anna visited him often to make him feel better but Ryan knew it only made things worse having dealt with the same experience when Theresa had kept visiting while he was with Marissa.

Ryan sighed and rotated his head so he could see the sun descend, it threw off a mixture of ginger and crimson light towards the blonde's eyes which blinded him temporarily. The sun had set on his love life long ago. His first two years at Berkeley he had been trying to get into a relationship but after going on several flings which never worked out, he decided to remain a bachelor.

Then he decided to rekindle some of his old flames. That had been the last time he and Taylor hooked up but after a week their main break-up occurred as they mutually agreed that they shouldn't hang on to something which wasn't meant to be.

He had tried to contact Lindsay in Chicago. Kirsten had kept in touch with her and arranged a meeting quite easily but after years of not seeing each other things were awfully awkward. The reunion consisted of the both of them sipping coffee silently and shyly asking each other questions.

After that he hadn't heard from her and counted the meeting as a potential disaster. After that incident he decided not to revive any of his old flames. He figured that his blasts from the past didn't have a good record anyhow.

Before Ryan's memories and thoughts could go any further there was a click behind the door and when he glanced at the door he saw Damon covered in sweat with a somnolent expression on his features.

Ryan smiled at his friend. He highly doubted his experience at Berkeley would have been this good if he hadn't met him.

"Hey Ryan, I'm beat, you're on your own at Sandy's tonight. Say hi to Sophie for me." Damon admitted as he went to the shower.

"You sure" Ryan asked, shouting a little so that Damon could hear him in the other room.

"Yeah I'm sure." Ryan comprehended the answer and then heard the familiar sound of the water colliding with the shower.

Damon was going to be a lawyer so he knew Sandy from his lessons. After meeting Ryan he got to know Sandy better and Kirsten insisted that Ryan invited Damon to their household. After all she didn't like that Sandy knew Ryan's friend and she didn't. Being the competitive parent that she was she demanded that Damon come every time Ryan did. Ryan was content with his foster mother for making Damon feel at home.

Unlike Ryan he didn't really have any family in Berkeley and even though he wasn't exactly a black sheep among his peers, he didn't really have anyone he was close to inside Berkeley. So Ryan was more than happy to help. In exchange Damon helped him out with his socialising skills and they were both better off.

The 23-year old looked at the time: 7.15. He was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago. He hastily put on a jacket and brushed his hair before making his way to the door. Ryan closed the door silently behind him and inhaled deeply. The nightly urban street was so different from Newport. It wasn't home. But it was a nice place to live.

As Ryan made his way to his car he contemplated on whether or not he should tell Sandy and Kirsten about the sudden wave of nostalgia. Before he could come to a decision he saw someone peering inside his Range Rover. They were clad in a cloak and a hood so he couldn't make out who it was.

The person had a thin frame and the stature was oddly familiar. What was the person doing looking inside the car? Either they were planning on stealing it or were admiring it.

Naturally Ryan Atwood who was born and raised in Chino assumed the individual was going to steal the car. "Hey! Get away from my car" Ryan yelled from a few feet away stepping up in his stride.

The person jumped in shock and was alerted by his presence. "Ryan…"

The youth halted for a second. He knew that voice. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. Before he could gather his thoughts and go further the person turned the other direction and sprinted as far away from the scene.

"No! Wait who are you" Ryan shouted after the distant form which was getting further and further away. He briskly got into his range rover and tried to feel for the keys. They weren't there!

He couldn't believe it. He left the keys in the apartment. Ryan got out of the car as fast as he could but the person had already gone. It was too late to get the keys.

"Crap!" He cried and kicked the rim of his range rover in frustration.

Suddenly his life had gotten a lot less boring…

_A/N: Sorry for the double Author notes but I forgot to mention that this is taken from Ryan's POV (3rd person) so there won't be any S/S for a while. _


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. Anyways my dad's going to cut me off the internet and its supposed to run out pretty soon. I'm going to proceed with a chapter a day but the internet get cut off from tomorrow to the next 3 days. I don't know when I'll be back but when I will, expect a large buffet of chapters at you (or a cancellation). So don't hang up on me. Here's the second chapter, things will get a bit juicy as the story goes by but for now I'm taking it slow. R&R  
_

**Chapter 2: **_  
_

_Thump…thump…thump_

"**Mr. Atwood**, you can pay no attention like half of you here but will you please stop that incessant tapping" questioned the lecturer.

Ryan gave a slight nod in acknowledgement at the lecturer and put the pencil back in his case. The attention of the lecture room focused back on their teacher instead of Ryan. Everyone agreed that the guy was a hardass. He didn't provide any help and he hardly answered any questions. He just droned on and on and if you had a problem you'd better knock on someone else's door.

Had Ryan had a teacher like that during Harbour god knows what he would have done? Normally Ryan was one of the half that paid attention and wrote down notes but after the incident that occurred a few days back he easily reverted to the other side.

The bald headed lecturer with his tiny spectacles made Ryan wonder how he could stand the guy. If only he could just punch him, just once and knock the living daylights out of him he'd be satisfied. Instead he had been reduced to tapping the oak desk with a pencil to replace the desire of punching the lecturer.

The room was large however, so it could be heard when he did it. But no one noticed because there were many sounds occurring. No one but the lecturer and yet he was the one who was tapping his foot on the paved floor. Just thinking about shoving him into the marble column or the smooth blackboard behind him made Ryan smirk with glee.

At least it normally would but these days he was more focused on the incident. He had already dismissed that it wasn't Taylor who was stalking him because he had checked with Summer and she said that Taylor still resided in France at the moment.

'It couldn't be Taylor anyhow' thought Ryan. It was definitely a woman judging by her voice but her stature was too different from Taylor's. She was taller and skinnier. But unless there was some other stalker; it was the only explanation.

Why would someone whisper his name and then run from him? He didn't know of anyone he would do that. His best idea was that it was a vision of Marissa. But the question was: Why now? Why was he going crazy now? Why didn't the visions start when he was cage fighting or mulling his senses over her? It didn't make sense.

If only there was some kind of proof that she had been there. He hadn't told anyone about it in case anyone thought he was crazy. After being this close to finishing college he was NOT going to be sent to a mental institution. He wasn't someone who believed in the supernatural so he had to assume that he was going crazy. It was the only explanation there was.

-Maybe a dream? But no he had already confirmed the events that had happened during that day. Damon had been at that soccer game, he had visited Sandy and Kirsten and little Sophie Rose Cohen. This just made him sick inside. Why couldn't just life give him a break? Why must there always be something dramatic and spectacular in his life. Was this supposed to mean something?

_RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG_

The sound of the bell exuded around the room and into Ryan's prying ears. He vivaciously packed his contents and jogged out of the room as quickly as he could. It was strange. He had been waiting for so long for the lecture to end and now he didn't know what to do. Nothing seemed fun anymore. How did he used to have fun?

"Hey! Ryan up for a little coffee"

Damon's familiar figure appeared at some point. Ryan just kept on power walking before he shook his head no. "Come on Ry, you've gotta relax a little." His friend insisted, he pulled Ryan by his sleeve and took him to a nearby café.

Ryan didn't push too much on his denial and just accepted his buddy's invitation.

"Two espressos, please" Damon ordered as the blonde found a comfortable chair to sit in.

"So what's the deal?" He finally asked.

"What do you mean?" Ryan countered trying to appear as innocent as possible. It was a futile attempt though because even Ryan knew that Damon could easily decipher him.

"Come on Ryan you've been getting weirder everyday. First, you refused to play soccer. I can understand one game but you love playing soccer and hanging out. It's not like you to miss out on it at least three times in a row. You didn't draw the line there though no you also started omitting our daily pool games. I grew suspicious at that point but I said nothing but now you won't do anything. Hey I have to put my foot down here I mean no beer, no parties, no watching fights together and did I mention that we haven't discussed 'The Da Vinci code in quite a while?"

Ryan smiled. Seth had warned him that his new roommate was obsessed on the book and movie. He regretted the day he had asked Damon about it and lied to him saying it was his favourite movie too.

"I'm just nervous about this last year at Berkeley" Ryan declared as the plump waiter arrived with the espressos.

Damon stared at him and then made a face. "Don't give me that bullshit. You are immune to such petty nervousness."

Ryan just sipped his espresso and tried to avoid Damon's eyes as best as he could. The guy knew him too well. Maybe he should tell him…

"Come on man. You can tell me. Have you been dating the principal? Maybe just gotten yourself into a porn movie by accident? OR maybe your little horsies ain't galloping eh? Or-"

"Hey man! Nothing's wrong with me alright" Ryan bellowed, getting up from his chair. Damon just smiled at him comically. "Oh really? Then come and play some pool with me"

Ryan looked away "I don't feel like it" he mumbled.

"Hah so I was right on the money."

At that comment Ryan went ballistic. He wanted to tell Damon so badly but he didn't want any complications. The fact that Damon didn't know how serious this was to Ryan just perturbed him to no end.

"Listen just stay out of it man! It's none of your business" and with that Ryan stormed off leaving Damon agape. As he went further away from the table, he knew that if Damon had suspicions before now he has sealed the deal.

No way was he going to let this go. He was just like Seth when it came to fishing for information, only sneakier or as Seth would say more 'stealth'. He wished Seth was there. If he told Damon he would think he was crazy but Seth believed in the paranormal so he wouldn't take that perspective.

He needed to cool off. There was only one person these days that could help him do that, one person who could "turn his frown upside down" as Kirsten often said. That one person was a little girl, otherwise known as: Sophie Rose Cohen.

When he was with Sophie, he became a kid again. No worries about girls, friends, school or more recently alleged hallucinations. She was his childhood combined with Kirsten's sensitivity, Seth's comedy and Sandy's reason. The perfect source for comfort; at times like these. But he wasn't one to admit it. And he never really needed it this badly.

The Atwood second-born made his way to his Range Rover. He had learnt to keep his keys nearby in case another incident occurred. This time he'd be prepared, he just didn't know if there was going to be another "time",

The buildings in Berkeley were much different then Newport. There were many apartment blocks and very little McMansion type houses. The houses were more cramped to each other and were all painted in the same hue. There were no exceptions or surprise just one big metropolis of whitish buildings next to each other. No green meadows or fancy golf courses. No Cardio Barre and Yogaletes, no nothing. Just simplicity.

The people were far less fake though. There were kind folks living in Berkeley. They weren't too rich or too poor just on top of the base line. Of course every community had its bad apples but in Newport there were TOO many bad apples and in Chino; well the apples were just rotten.

Another thing Ryan embraced was that people actually spoke their minds and weren't secretive at all about anything. This, however potentially made them more fragile and you so you could easily take advantage of a Berkeley local. It wasn't the first time that he had heard of a foreigner wooing some Berkeley girl with fancy ideas and then dumping her high and dry after taking advantage of her.

As Ryan drove by the endless row of houses he recognized what he missed most about Newport: The breath taking view of the sun glistening on the sea, the golden sand next to the navy water which his vision embraced so greatly. Even at night; the sound of the waves crashing against the shore relaxed Ryan. Being able to wake up and see that tremendous view had always soothed his pains.

The luxury was also lacking here too. He could no longer take a dip in the pool or go out fishing on a boat. There was also a lack of formal events here too; not that that was a bad thing. In fact he had his fair share of those and recalling them wasn't always a pleasurable action.

Ryan finally concluded Newport was good for the senses and pleasure but Berkeley was good for the personality and for character development. Had he been someone else he would've admitted that Berkeley was better for him. But Ryan knew that his personality didn't need drastic change. He was a model citizen and so Newport was best for him. He could set a good example; the kind which Sandy had always tried to set.

The tires screeched and Ryan got out of the car. He strolled over to the door and then noticed that an unfamiliar car stood parked by his own. The Cohen's had visitors. That was unorthodox. Sandy and Kirsten lived a peaceful life these days and were not as involved with this community as they were with Newport. Sandy was a law professor but he didn't really golf as much as he used to and though Kirsten was putting her art degree to good use she didn't really host any "Newpsie" type gatherings anymore.

He clutched the brass door knob and knocked softly but enough for human ears to pick up his presence. Five seconds didn't pass when the door flew open and a fair haired girl with chocolate brown eyes and a smile that went as thick as Sandy's eyebrows answered it.

"Ryan!!" She screamed and jumped on his muscular body like a bulldog. For a girl who was only four years of age she had a fine grip. Had Seth been there she would've knocked him over for sure.

"Ryan, so good to see you" declared a household image in his mind. "Wow Hailey, long time no see"

She hadn't changed that much over the years: Her coffee coloured hair swinging behind her in par with her twinkling brown eyes. She always had the grace and majesty of a queen. The only person Ryan knew who surpassed that was Kirsten but little Sophie was catching on as well.

But neither of them had the unique smile that Hailey presented with each individual. She saved a smile especially for each person and yet each time it was different. It astounded Ryan as to how she could do that.

The two briefly hugged with Sophie still clutching Ryan, preventing them from initiating a proper hug.

"So uh what brings you by here?" Ryan queried wondering why Hailey was in Berkeley. She was not the type to drain people for money anymore was she? At least he didn't think so. The last time he'd seen her visit was two years ago but from what Sophie had told him she called the house quite often.

"Oh I'm staying here for good" she chirped her small eyes trying to avoid his.

Ryan didn't know Hailey well but he knew she was hiding something. It was the same guilty look she had when he and Seth had found her stripping at that club.

He was about to mention this when Sandy and Kirsten entered the hallway. "Hey Ryan what are you still doing in here, come in the living room you two." Sandy said with a big smile on his face not unlike the one Sophie encompassed.

"Oh hey Ryan" said Kirsten as if she had just seen him. "Sorry to leave on such short notice but me and Hailey are going shopping so unless you'd like to come I'll talk to you later." She continued with an expecting look.

"Oh no, you two must have a lot to catch up on but yeah I'll talk to you later." Ryan uttered abruptly. The last time he had gone shopping with Kirsten it had lasted for hours. He ended up lifting all her shoes as she went from counter to counter. He still couldn't believe the speed in which she tried one outfit and then replaced it with another. Had everyone been able to do that, shoplifting would be much easier.

"Okay" Kirsten accepted and walked by Ryan with Hailey closely behind her. "Come on Ryan let's play video games I've already kicked dad's butt two hundred times." Sophie squealed in her childish voice.

"Oh come on Sophie that last one doesn't count. It's a hundred and ninety nine" Sandy retorted.

"No its two hundred, I beat you fair and square" she said letting go of Ryan and glaring at her father insistently.

"You did not; you said "Julie Cooper" and my character suddenly had the heebie jeebies"

"No he didn't, you dropped the controller and besides" she said looking at Ryan for approval. "You tickled me before I did that. Everyone knows that's a violation Mr. Cohen" She said trying to sound professional. She had obviously learned from her father and Ryan felt that someday she was going to play a major part in the law business but right there and then he decided it was too soon to judge.

Sandy chuckled and led Ryan to the living room while conceding to her point. "So what are we gonna play?" He asked.

"No it's what you and Ryan are going to play. I'm the winner so the losers have to fight over a rematch with me." Announced Sophie

"Ooh there's a scary thought" commented Sandy sarcastically. He signalled for Ryan to join him as he sat down on the light burgundy rug.

Ryan shrugged and sat down. They both picked up a controller and started the game while Sophie sat between them eating ice cream.

It was times like these that Ryan felt he was at peace. Still not even the Cohen's presence was enough to settle the nerves that he had at the moment.

"So uh what's up with Hailey?" Ryan asked trying to seem as casual as possible.

"Well she says she's moving here to be close to the only family she has left. I don't buy it though. I think she's hiding something." Sandy said as he feverishly punched the buttons on the controller.

"Yeah, how come" Ryan asked trying hard to get past Sandy's car.

"I dunno, she has that evil gleam in her eye before she does something we don't expect."

"Like what?" Ryan knew exactly 'like what' but he needed to venture on slowly.

"Like stealing my bagels, god that was the worst day of my life" Sandy admitted shaking his head dismally.

Ryan chuckled, he never doubted Sandy as a good father that's for sure. He was the perfect balance between the serious, hard core father and the 'cool dad'. Frank however strayed far from both of them during his time as a father to Ryan.

"Come on Ryan you're getting beaten by dad!! XO XO Press XO" Sophie shrieked, her breath smelled of ice cream which really distracted Ryan from the game.

"COME ON RYAN!!" She yelled throwing another instalment of fresh ice cream mixed with bad breath at Ryan.

Oh yes, he definitely couldn't focus on anything but her breath or the game. Yep there was nothing like Sophie Rose Cohen to help him forget his troubles. Damn…he lost to Sandy. Well there was a first time for everything.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: okay guys I have a few days left to keep updating. Anyhow this chapter goes into detail about scenes you have already seen but in a far more detailed light. Hope you enjoy it, I had to examine the scenes bit by bit and describe them and one particular scene was terrible to relive so I couldn't really modify it right because it was difficult enough to put it into words. _**  
**

****

**Chapter 3:**_**  
**_

_**Stupid** model home had no electricity. He didn't even know why he had listened to Seth's stupid plan. He could just be in Texas right now; earning a new life. It was useless if he stayed here anyways. He was an Atwood from Chino, born and bred. He was destined to live his life serving the rich people. This was not his place; not his community. Ryan had enjoyed the day's events and he didn't like the fact that after tonight he wasn't going to see these people again but that's the way it had to be for some people like Ryan Atwood._

_The small vibrations of the guitar strings echoed around the room, soothing his feelings. That girl Marissa was exceptional at picking out songs for him. What might have been if he had stayed? Oh well he was leaving, there wasn't any point in evaluation the matter. He had a connection with a girl and that was what all it was going to be in the future. Ryan would never see her again. She'd be just the girl who helped him out all those years ago._

_He lit another candle. That was about it. It was a good enough amount of candles for the night. His lighter clicked and the flame evaporated as he laid down the last candle. Ryan observed the room a little. It wasn't half bad. He proceeded to rolling up the green sleeping bag when a swish interrupted the flowing music. _

_It had come from the doorway, he hesitantly raised his head mentally absorbing the image he had exactly been expecting when he heard the sound. She stood there and smiled at him; surveying the room nervously._

_She was so beautiful, so caring, and so perfect. Why was she making this hard for him? What did she want? Surely a girl of the calibre didn't want to have anything to do with him. Unless she looked dumber than she looked he saw no reason why she should be here; with him. _

"_This song reminds me of you." She stated lovingly as if she wanted to express something she had been holding in for so long._

_Ryan just looked away and continued what he had been doing. After a mere second passed his curiosity got the better of him. "I thought you were with Luke" he murmured trying to sound as uncaring as possible. She walked in further. Was she expecting a one night stand? He had never really thought she was that whorish type. _

"_I was" she uttered looking at him so tentatively that he just couldn't keep his eyes away from hers. "I don't why I'm here…I just…wanted to see you." She added hopefully._

_Ryan stood up; he wasn't prepared for this kind of conversation. He looked at her in anticipation. She kept moving closer…_

"_I mean you're leaving tomorrow…and what if I never…we never" Marissa paused and nervously started playing with her fingers. Ryan could see that she was planning her next sentence carefully. The rhythm of the song aided her greatly in her quest. _

"_Maybe I could spend the night? I mean just to hang out." _

_This came as a blow to Ryan. He wanted to her to stay with him so badly. The 16 year old craved some attention badly and she was offering it on a silver platter. But he knew he couldn't accept. It would make it much harder to leave. Clouding his judgement wasn't going to get him anywhere. He let a few seconds pass before he broke the news._

"_You can't stay…If we spend the night…I-I don't know that I could leave" he announced trying his best to avoid her eyes. _

_She was quick to retort. "Well then don't" Her adamant expression threw him off but he knew it could never work._

"_Yeah and you go back to school in fall and I'll just what?" He ranted stepping back in vacillation but making sure his point came through. "Hang around here, hiding out like some ghost. The cops find me and I have to disappear all over again." He spat revealing the harsh truth to this naïve beauty. _

_He had hoped she would convince him otherwise but she let a look of uncertainty escape her. That one second was enough to confirm to Ryan that she was still unsure over this whole ordeal and he didn't want her to regret anything they did or might do in the future. So he decided to finish her off._

_Ryan stepped closer and just looked at her with certainty imprinted in his navy blue eyes. He took a small breath before he started the next sentence._

"_We're from different worlds" _

_Marissa let out a yelp of sadness; it hurt Ryan to continue but he had to. "That's not true" she stated trying to deny his words but he sensed the doubt in her words. _

"_I'm not like you" he replied with a lack of remorselessness. She was apparently speechless and hadn't been expecting this. Now came the painful part._

"_Go" he began. But she didn't seem to get the hint and just looked away as if trying to find some hole in his judgement. But he didn't give her the liberty to do so._

"_Please…Go." He ordered turning away. Ryan refused to see her get hurt by his words. But he knew that it would prevent future pain. Still he just didn't care…he wanted her to be with him. _

_He turned and was about to apologize but she was gone; he could hear muffled cries from a distance and decided to take off after her._

_KABOOM!!_

_The sound didn't mean anything to him. He just wanted his loved one to be safe. Ryan carried her a few meters away from the decaying metal that was previously his mother's graduation present. He reflected back in time for an instant when he was in that same situation when he had to carry her to the pool house after her friends had left her there on that driveway. As he took another step he recalled this same image when he was carrying her away from that desolate alleyway in Tijuana. _

_Ryan laid her down slowly. His head was still dizzy from the crash and he was sure he had broken something. But right now his needs weren't important. Marissa's condition was more important right now._

_Making sure she was as comfortable as she could be on the cold hard ground, he laid her legs out wide and gazing at her beauty in those milliseconds he carefully lowered her back on to his arms. _

"_Marissa" he called vaguely unable to remember how many times his lips have uttered those words since he had met her on the driveway. She was motionless. But that way okay they had been here before right?_

_He placed her body in a more comfortable position on his hands and repeated "Marissa" but with more doubt in his voice this time. Realizing she wasn't waking up he was beginning to panic._

"_Marissa, Marissa, Marissa" _

_To his relief her eyes opened but anguish soon filtered in as he saw the drained look in her eyes. Her fingers touched his breast and she breathed a little before managing to call his name. She was begging him to stay with her._

"_Okay…okay…I'm going to get help okay?" he requested as he saw the blood ooze out of her temple. This couldn't be happening._

"_No, no Ryan" she started regaining her base voice back which relieved Ryan a little but he still insisted on getting her help. "Yeah yeah I gotta get help." But her word was final._

"_No Ryan stay." She pleaded, breathing heavily. He just looked at her helplessly. He had never seen her like this. He needed to keep her alive. The blonde started to comfort her. Ryan begged her to hold on. He caressed her cold cheeks and it seemed to be working but to his utter dismay her eyes finally fluttered shut for the one last time and she took a few breaths before ceasing altogether._

"_Marissa?" he asked. Come on. Now was the time for her to wake up and answer him. Fear crept in and he let a few seconds pass before he tried again. Ryan gulped and then gave it another shot. _

"_Marissa?" He shook her face a little. No way was he going to lose her like this. After all they had been through she didn't no they didn't deserve this._

"_Marissa…no…no" he denied. He hadn't cried in such a long time that it was hard to let the tears out because if he let them out that meant she was dead. He wasn't ready to accept that. It couldn't be true._

_He remembered when he thought he had seen her last. The last glimpse of her: Sandy's car had passed by her and he could see her expression through the window. She was appalled and then after they had drove off a little he had looked back and seen her form slowly dissipate with disappointment. _

_There: he had thought she had left him then and she didn't. This was the same thing, the same thing, the same thing, the same thing, the very same thing. Yes, it was the same thing._

_How ironic. That night he had told her to go and right now she had begged him to stay but in the end; the brutality of it all haunted him. Because she still ended up leaving. He knew he should have left. Now it was his fault she died. His life was over._

"RYAN!! Wake up man"

The image of the plain white ceiling settled in. He tilted his head to the side and saw Damon's concerned face looking down at him. His companion was pale and had an exceedingly worried expression on his face.

Ryan blinked a few times trying to register what just had happened. He moved his palm to wipe the sweat from his brow. The nightmares had never been this vivid before. He needed to settle this and he needed to settle it fast.

"Man…What's up with you? I've been trying to wake you for the past fifteen minutes. I thought you were dead." Damon said brushing his hair loose with his nimble fingers.

"You…have?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't wake up and kept grunting. I thought you were possessed or something." Damon chuckled and then turned the other way. "God…Ryan I'm glad you're okay" he said.

But Ryan wasn't listening. He heaved deeply for several times. It had all felt so real. He had just relived every single detail of it all. He had relived some of his worst memories involving his past love. That's when he knew. That voice: it was hers. She was the one who had been peeking into his car.

It was impossible though, she was dead. It couldn't be a ghost. Ryan was about to warm up to the idea when he dismissed it from his head. He was going crazy. This wasn't supposed to happen. He refused to get help until he had sufficient proof that he was mentally unstable. He needed another vision; something.

"You are okay aren't you?" Damon had turned back in his direction. Ryan paused for a second looking into Damon's caring eyes. "Yeah I'm fine" Ryan said convincingly. His nightmare had been so vivid that lying to Damon was child's play compared to the trepidation he had felt during those haunting, painful memories.

"Good. I'm just going out for a quick bite. Wanna come?" Damon inquired; he had already had the door handle in his palm.

Ryan sat up from his bed and mumbled something.

"I'll take that as a 'no'. If I hadn't been starving I would force you to come but right now my belly can't take the pressure so I'll bring you back a cheeseburger pal."

"Whatever" Ryan said permitting Damon to bolt right out of the door.

Ryan yawned and shuddered as he remembered Marissa's cold flesh against his exterior. The memory kept coming back and coming back and coming back. He couldn't stand it. He needed a plan. He needed to talk to Seth Cohen.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Right so It's been what two, three months? Anyways it's happened- I'm bored of the story. Exams finished a long time ago and I was considering scrapping this story. But I'm determined to gain my motivation back and at least give this story 15 decent chapters. Anyways this chapter is the longest so far, just to make up for my absence. Its funny though. The first three chapters had only one day between them this one has well...Anyways if any readers are still there I'm going to continue this story and do my best to honor the O.C. Oh and if you have any motivation speeches please don't refrain from sending them by review. Anyways the story has been rated M now: due to this chapter's language. Don't worry you'll see what I mean. Again sorry: enjoy. _

**Chapter 4:**

**Ryan** paused at the door and wondered what he was going to say to Seth. He had driven all the way down here without actually _planning_ what to say to Seth. Ryan stood astounded by this fact. The drive from Berkeley to Seth's apartment had been short and swift. The Range Rover had glided at maximum speed to get here and had made it in the stifling afternoon sun.

Ryan sighed again, his hand clenched and quivering, a few millimetres away from the door. He wiped sweat from his brow with his other hand and then gently knocked on the door. He waited for Seth to answer…

The apartment was situated in a common suburban street. Not too flashy either. Ryan normally described these sorts of constructions as 'boring' and though Seth was his adoptive brother; he had to admit that he didn't do the perfect job of finding the right location for his home. But it wasn't Seth's fault that he wasn't an expert in architecture and even though it wasn't Ryan's ideal apartment, it was still acceptable. Besides it was better than some heavily painted catastrophe. All it needed was that bit of spark that would ignite the house out of its simplicity maybe a more unique balcony or a distinctively designed windowpane.

Ryan knocked again, this time a little louder than before.

He wondered how Seth was going to react to Ryan's arrival. Of course he had come without warning. But it didn't really matter as Ryan was sure that Seth would be thrilled to see him. The moment Ryan was going to walk through that door he'd be greeted by his brother and best friend with great tumult. Then as Ryan would dump his problems onto his shoulders, the typical person that he is would just distract him from his troubles by introducing his own. Just like the old days in the legendary pool house. That is if Seth still was his quirky, usual old self.

Ryan rapped at the door this time.

What was taking him so long? Was he asleep? Had he gone out? Where could he be if not here? Had he gone shopping? Or maybe he was in trouble? Ryan suddenly jolted on the spot at the thought, he rapped the door again.

No answer.

He needed a clue, a sign any kind of indication. Ryan shook his head. He sniggered at himself. Just because Seth was not here, it didn't mean he was in danger. It had become an instinct after all those times he had to pin his friend out of danger, both in Chino and in Newport. Particularly-

The door opened and Ryan's multiple thoughts halted there as he heaved a sigh of relief but to his surprise it wasn't Seth who entered the door but a rather drunken looking old man who was holding a bottle of what seemed like cheap red wine.

His eyes seemed to stare past him- out of drunkenness thought Ryan. He had clothes that looked like he had slept in them for a week! And he evidently didn't shower much since Ryan could smell the sweat reaping from him as if his nose was plucked right under his armpits.

"What da yeh wan'?" grunted the man and took another sip of his bottle.

He looked about sixty, so Ryan must have gotten the wrong apartment somehow. He was about to point this out when the old man slammed the door open and his expression changed into one of glee.

"Ei' I recognize yeh!" he bellowed and held out his empty hand.

Ryan took it reluctantly with a quizzical expression on his face. He winced uncomfortably a few seconds later. The man's hand was so sweaty it felt as his hand had been dipped into the sea.

"Yer family of old Wackyhair. I've seen pictures of yah, handsome fella yeh are." The man winked.

This had to stop.

"Listen I think you're a bit a drunk right now-"

"Hah! Gangsta' my ass. Wackyhair can sure exaggerate when he talks." Exclaimed the old man still clutching Ryan's hand like it was a treasure to him.

"Excuse me?"

Ryan was starting to get angry now. If this guy hadn't been old he would've surely knocked his lights out by now. He was totally crazy but he had a feeling he was somehow connected to Seth.

"Yah, he says you were a gangsta' from Chino. Heh Ryan ain't it?" inquired the stranger with a glint in his eye while he took another swig of wine.

"uhm…yeah." Ryan said nonplussed that this man knew his name. "Is Seth around?"

"Nah Wackyhair is out of town." He said and then strangely took another step forward so close to Ryan that his foul breath was went up Ryan's nostrils like poisonous gas. "he's out bangin' a couple a' ladies" he whispered and before Ryan could register this the old man stepped back and started laughing hysterically.

"I woulda' gone with 'im but there was no room in the sacred carriage for me." He continued before resuming his laughter.

Ryan looked at the ground for a moment before suddenly grabbing at the man stained shirt. "What have you done with Seth?" he demanded loudly.

"so…Wackyhair wasn't fibbin' when 'ee told me aboutcha"

"I said what have you done with Seth?" Ryan repeated in a dangerously low tone.

"I just told'cha he went to bang some ladies in Vegas. Said he needed a break" informed the old man.

"Liar! Seth would never do that. He would never cheat on Summer. Now WHERE IS HE?" Ryan shouted, a few people were gathering around trying to see what the commotion was about…

"Hah! Where have ya been? His lady friend dumped him weeks ago." The man slurred scornfully. Ryan was having difficulty absorbing all this. Summer had dumped Seth? Why hadn't he said anything to Ryan about it?

"She was a looker too. I jus' want'd ta suck her pussy straight up her ass!"

Ryan just flung the old man back in the apartment and gave him a disgusting look before slamming the door shut.

He hurried and made his way back to his Range Rover (ignoring the people's hoots as he went by)

He ignited his car to life and floored it away from the scene. Nothing seemed right; he just couldn't seize the fact that he didn't have any idea with what was going on in Seth's miserable life. According to that perverted old geezer, Seth and Summer broke up weeks ago and Seth was currently "banging" bitches randomly in Las Vegas. No, that was too much to take in.

He must have made it up, that's it. Yes he made it up. But as Ryan drove around arbitrarily he knew that the old man, as unreliable as he was, was unlikely to lie about this. Damn it ! Why hadn't Seth come to him? What had gone wrong? Had he somehow offended Seth causing him to build a wall around himself?

It could be a lot of things, he decided and to get an answer he had to meet Seth in person and sort this out. Ryan turned to a direction which would lead him to Las Vegas. As he drove he took out his cellphone and punched Seth's number. "Damn, voicemail" he muttered

He would try again once he got to Vegas. If Seth didn't answer than he would ask for help. He's scour the whole city if he had to! Ryan wasn't going back home without Seth. Subconsciously Ryan was enjoying the adventure. It felt good to be distracted from his recent troubles (mainly Marissa) and worry about something else for a change. Yep just like old times: venturing off to find people and fix their problems. The best pastime in the world, well at least to Ryan it was.

When he spotted the Las Vegas welcome sign, he urged his Range Rover to go a bit faster as if it was alive and could respond to his actions. Where could Seth be now? He paused…and then it hit him. Of course! That casino they went to last time. It was his best shot and that old man had said he was "banging" some "chicks" and if those chicks were prostitutes then he was quite sure Seth'd be at that same casino where, as he recalled, had spiked up some controversy in their lives.

Now he drove casually. He was sure Seth was there and it wasn't very far from where he was now. Ryan turned a corner and his eyes recognized that same casino where he had gambled against that guy with the trucker hat. He smiled…old times…different times. Ryan had a feeling this time he would need a lot more than skill at card games to get him out of trouble, which he was sure was lying right ahead.

Ryan parked and hurriedly got out of the car. He strode towards the looming entrance and had just put this palm on the handle when he felt his cellphone vibrating.

The college student withdrew his hand and drew his cellphone out.

"Ryan" he said through the phone to confirm his identity to the caller.

"_Hey Ryan Seth I got a missed call on my cell, you need anything?"_

"Seth! Where are you?" Ryan asked, still unable to believe he was hearing Seth's voice through his phone (It was a lot less quirky then it used to be)

"_I'm in Vegas__ on some umm…business, why do you need anything?" _

"Ah no…I was wondering if we could meet, you know for old times' sake?" said Ryan casually as if he were in his home with nothing to do.

"_Right now, I don't know if I can Ryan." _Stated Seth with a hint of neglect in his voice

"Yeah I understand it's just that I happen to be outside one of Vegas's most popular brothels, any advice on how to "bang some chicks"?" Ryan said accusingly.

He couldn't hear anything for a few seconds and then he perceived the sound of some shuffling.

"_Hold on." _ Seth's voice came one last time before he hung up. Ryan dipped the cellphone in his pocket and waited by the entrance. Seth was coming down and then he'd find out what this nonsense was all about.

The door opened and the gangly form of Seth came out. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was rugged and his clothes were like that of a wannabe pop star. He was smiling confidently with his chest broadened up as it could be.

"So Ryan…you stalking me?" he asked. Ryan was shocked at the tone of Seth's voice. It was still recognizable but he could detect a hint of hostility in his voice; not unlike the one Trey used.

"No I just happened to be in town." Said Ryan derisively

"How did you know I was here?" he said; again with hostility. His bloodshot brown eyes were scanning Ryan as if he was a thug about to steal the most precious thing he owned.

"Your little buddy told me and by the way what're you doing keeping some old pervert in your apartment with you?"

"Who I keep in my own apartment is my business and my business only."

Ryan didn't believe he was talking to Seth Cohen here. Never in his life had Seth been this vulgar with him. He was acting as if Caleb's ghost had possessed him. Ryan knew that Seth had been going through something and was not himself, but he didn't expect it to have gone this far.

"What the hell happened to you Seth?" Ryan said his voice no longer calm.

"Why should I tell you?" Seth snorted then he put his hands up mockingly next to the sides of his face and said: "You going to try and _save _me?"

This worse than he had thought. Seth had never acted like this not even in the worst moments of their friendship and even though _this _Seth was tempting him to lose his temper; he knew that he must try and get him to talk to him and by acting as stubborn as he was, he would surely drive him away for good!

"Come on Seth let's sit down. I wanna know what's going on with you." Ryan said, his voice again calm as he gestured Seth towards a bench near the parking lot.

Seth looked uncertain. And for a second Ryan thought he was going to refuse but Seth seemed to give in and went towards the bench with Ryan.

"So…I heard you and Summer broke up. What's that about?"

Ryan knew at once that he had just blown it when he mentioned Summer as Seth's face now looked contorted with rage.

"What! You think I need Summer to light up my day HUH?"

"No man I just—"

But Seth didn't let him finish and started throwing insults at Ryan. "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME DON'T YOU? IT'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE _THAT_ HASN'T IT? YOU'RE THE SHIT ASS COOL KID FROM CHINO AND I'M THE LANKY NERD WHO FOLLOWS YOU AROUND TRYING TO FIT IN" He yelled dramatically and drew closer to Ryan so much that he could smell the alcohol coming from Seth's breath.

"YOU THINK THAT WITHOUT YOU I WOULD'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE WITH SUMMER DON'T YOU? JUST BECAUSE YOU BEAT UP A BUNCH OF WATERPOLO NUMBSKULLS YOU THINK YOU'RE MORE OF A MAN THAN ME DON'T YOU?" Seth kept asking Ryan these questions and his face was getting redder and redder with each word he uttered. His bloodshot eyes were now bulging. Was this the same person who had carried him to the hospital in that trolley?

Seth seemed to get angrier and angrier with Ryan's lack of replies and Ryan seemed to have lost his voice. He wasn't given a chance to speak with Seth shouting and throwing in various amounts of saliva at his face and if he had been given a chance he wouldn't be able to speak anyway! Ryan was too appalled at Seth's tantrum. He had never seen him act like this and why was he shouting at him? He had never even done or thought about any of those things Seth was accusing him for.

Bystanders were starting to gather round the scene again as Seth kept dumping his fury on Ryan, who for the first time in his life seemed to be part of a losing battle and could hardly stand up for himself.

"YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING, DO YOU? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO CHINO WHERE YOU BELONG?"

Ryan seemed to have been hit by a fresh wave of chilly water. He couldn't believe Seth said that. But now he appeared to have finally found his voice.

"WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT. LIKE I'VE ALWAYS DONE" roared Ryan oblivious of the increasing crowd that was now viewing the scene as if it was entertainment at a drive-in movie.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A BUNCH OF HOOKERS IN VEGAS AND WITH A DAMN WINO IN YOUR APARTMENT HUH? THAT'S IT YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME." Finished Ryan at the red faced Seth. He had tried to be nice about it but this was the final straw. Seth was going to get in the car and he was going to explain to him what had been going on while he was living on his own.

He moved to reach for Seth's hand when he saw a limb shooting at him from the corner of his eye. Instinctively he ducked under it as it swung clumsily through thin air.

"Seth…don't try and fight me" said Ryan in a dangerously calm voice. But Seth ignored him and tried to aim another punch at Ryan but again it was dodged by the experienced former cagematch fighter. "WHAT? YOU THINK I'M NOT CAPABLE TO FIGHT YOU! HUH? I'LL KICK YOUR ASS ONCE AND FOR ALL" Seth shouted now swinging his fists aimlessly.

Ryan had a hard time dodging and blocking each one. Some of them managed to brush his face a little. If it hadn't been Seth Ryan would have knocked him out a long time ago and just as he was about to speak to Seth and tell him to calm down, he felt a right hook jam cleanly through the side of his face. Then a flurry of weak jabs hit his abdomen and he lost control.

WHAM!

Before Ryan could register just what had happened, he saw Seth lying sprawled on the bench with his eyes seemingly dazed from the hit. People were now jeering but none dared make a move.

The prominent architect shook his head and got a better look at Seth. He still couldn't focus his eyes on the scene at hand. That punch had been really precise; he reminded himself to congratulate Seth on such an effort when he returned to normal.

Ryan walked, or rather staggered to Seth's side to get a better look at him. If he hadn't been so light headed he would surely be worried to death so maybe Seth's punch did some good after all. Then again if that punch hadn't ensued, Seth wouldn't be lying on the ground.

"Come on Seth you're coming with me" muttered Ryan. He heaved Seth on to his back and slowly hobbled away with him towards the car. All Ryan could see was the silver colour of the Range Rover shimmering in the setting sun. He ignored the crowd's catcalls, ignored the pain in his throbbing head or the sweat that was dripping down his back.

He just focused all his attention; all his consciousness on to that silvery paint that he knew would take him away from all of _this._

Ryan rested Seth on to the doors of the car and fumbled for his keys with one hand as he rubbed his head with the other. A tattooed bald man was coming towards him. He was big, really big. He had hazel eyes and a pointed nose that looked angry. He also had muscles, a lot of big sweaty muscles. Ryan gazed at all his muscles with a smile on his face. He was done for. This guy didn't look happy.

"Hey you, what're you doing? That guy hasn't paid yet." Exclaimed the burly man pointing at the stunned form of Seth who was now lying on the ground

"Ah…okay how much do you need?" said Ryan weakly, barely mustering the words out of his mouth.

"How much do I need? I need $10,000 from that guy right there."

"Sure…hold on a second." Ryan mumbled dreamily, while he searched Seth's pockets for money. He managed to find the wallet but to his utter dismay it was empty and the man before him didn't look too happy. Damn it! Why hadn't Ryan brought any money with him?

"Listen can I pay you later, my friend seems to be broke and he's not exactly in the right condition to pay right now." Ryan said politely

The man didn't seem too happy at this statement and glared at Ryan piercingly before drawing closer to him. "You pay me now motherfucker or I kick your ass."

"I don't have the—"

BIFF!

Ryan was thrown to the ground beside Seth. His head was now throbbing harder than ever. No one knew he was here. Damon thought he was at Seth's and only that wino knew where they were. He was doomed.

"He ain't gonna rip me off again. No fucking way." Said the huge form shadowed by the sun.

Ryan felt the blood in his ears pumping harder than ever, he couldn't get up. This time he had taken too large a hit. He felt his consciousness slipping away slowly…he tried getting up anyways, everything was going black…he was sweating hard. It was getting darker and darker. Then he lost his balance. It was all dark, he heard a body distantly fall to the ground and then nothingness…

SPLASH!

He felt a cold shower of water hit him. Had he been dreaming? What time was it? What day was it? Ryan looked up. His head was still pulsating madly but not as madly as before. His blue eyes came into focus and he could see Seth looking apologetic. He had a bandage against the side of his head but nothing more.

"Wherearewe?" slurred Ryan trying to absorb all the latest events.

"In the hospital Ryan." Informed Seth slowly

"What happened?" he asked again, sitting up.

"Well…the guy at the club stole and your car and left us there. No harm done though dad went and got it back for you. He's also suing him for assault."

"Where is he? What time is it? What day is it?"

"On his way over, its 7:30 P.M and the day after I totally freaked out on you, sorry man I was a bit drunk and a bit pissed off. The girl I had been banging had this big scar—"

Ryan coughed.

Apparently Seth was still not recovered. Ryan observed him angrily.

"What happened to you Seth?" Ryan asked hoarsely

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the way you talk, the way you look, the way you act- it's all different." Informed Ryan as if Seth hadn't noticed that he wasn't his regular old self

"You got a problem with the way I talk?" hostility had returned in Seth's voice and this time Ryan knew better than to fight it.

"No man, sorry I didn't mean anything by it" he conceded tamely

Seth looked a bit appalled for a second before he muttered 'good'

"Anyways Ryan I'm gonna leave bro, I haven't had a good smoke yet. See ya whenever" he turned to the door and then turned abruptly "oh and next time try and pick your battles more carefully, or I might kill ya accidentally. Wouldn't want to hurt ya too bad." Remarked Seth and Ryan looked at his back with anger erupting from his intestines.

If he had still been that seventeen year old kid who picked fights with people he was sure he would've found Seth later and made sure he knew what he was talking about! But he had learned by now that fighting should be a last resort. Ryan was going to use his brains and make sure that someone with more authority was going to help Seth and he just knew who. Then they'd be able to talk and he would be able to fix Seth and make sure this never happened again. But for now he had to get home and take a shower.

He still felt the sweat dripping down his back. As Ryan got up he made a note to himself to splash some water on Seth in case he was every unconscious.

Damon had picked him up and drove him home. On the way there Ryan told Damon everything that happened. Damon was a good audience he gasped at the right parts and made sure not to interrupt Ryan while he was telling the story.

"I think you need a time off from all this stress. What say I introduce you to a couple of girls I know?" requested Damon while he and Ryan walked up the stairs to their apartment.

"Nah thanks for the offer Dam but I'm okay…really." Ryan said. After hearing Seth and the wino talking about 'banging some chicks' Ryan had a sudden distaste for girls.

"Well too bad cause I already invited them over." Uttered Damon as he opened the door

"You what?" asked Ryan in dismay. He had enough to be going on with at the moment.

"Yeah they're coming over tomorrow and I can't cancel now or we'll look stupid. And like I said you need to loosen up a little. I don't even know who you are anymore."

Ryan sighed and walked inside without commenting. Why does everything always have to happen to him? At least a nice hot shower would help him relax a little. He entered the bathroom and took off his clothes roughly.

The tired Ryan entered the shower and expected nice hot waves of water to engulf him as he turned on the tap. But to his consternation he felt ice cold bullets of liquid water hit his body with overexerted force.

"Oh by the way Ryan we're out of hot water!"

He heard Damon saying from afar.

"Perfect" grumbled Ryan.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Hi! I've just finished this extremly wearsome chapter. I had to write almost 10000 words in two days so bear with me if its not top quality. Anyhow I just want to let you guys know (is anyone still reading this?) that this is STILL an R/M. I'm just giving Ryan a little break here but don't worry the drama will start soon! Here you go now: Chapter 5. pant pant_**  
**

**Chapter 5: **

**"mmmm"** came a moan from Ryan Atwood's voice box. Who was this cruel to wake him up when he was snoozing this peacefully? Who? Who dared to interrupt this quiet peaceful slumber?

Damon of course, Ryan rolled over and peeked through his heavy eyelids to confirm his suspicions. Damon had opened the blinds to reveal the annoying sun: the insolent bastard.

The exhausted Atwood turned the other way and tried to cover as much of his face with the covers to avoid as much of the sun's forceful rays brushing against his cheeks. He heard Damon stifling a yawn and walking towards the fridge. Sometimes Ryan wished he was back at his solitary pool house; back in his own bed where no one could possibly bother him, especially when he was waking up. He groaned again in hope that Damon might realize that Ryan wanted more sleep and would keep the apartment as quiet and peaceful as possible…

"HEY ATWOOD GET UP YOU LAZY BUM"

…or not

"go away" Ryan muttered digging further into his pillow to banish all sounds and sensations. He knew this would not stop Damon but it didn't hurt to try. Sure enough, Damon came over and started shaking Ryan gently.

"Damon, go away I had a rough day yesterday."

"I don't care, we've got some ladies coming over today and I can't have you looking like a poor orphan from Chino." Said Damon with an attempt at humour, Ryan didn't like the gesture at all. He wasn't getting up from bed, no matter what the reason.

"Don't' make me play hardball Ryan."

Ryan barely heard Damon's warning. Apparently his attempts to return to sleep were succeeding as he felt himself drift off. If only it had lasted. He felt the covers of his bed come off with a tug. An instant drought curled over Ryan's body. He tried valiantly to recover the lost covers but Damon wouldn't have it.

"All right, all right I'm up." Ryan garbled.

He cursed under his breath while trying to shake off the drowsiness from his body. His eyelids were still heavy and his lips felt pasty. His whole face felt like it had just been a sponge washing a car and to top it all off he was sure he was having a bad hair day.

Ryan leisurely put on his favourite indoor pants and yawned while in the process of doing so. He caressed his head as soothingly as possible (but gentleness wasn't one of Ryan's specialties), it was still sore after that double beating he had. Right now he just wanted to find that guy and knock his testicles off.

"Breakfast." Announced Damon shoving a bowl of cereal in front of Ryan, without so much as a 'thanks' Ryan sat in his chair and ate it at a snail's pace. What to do, what to do. The Cohens' had gone and visited Seth so he couldn't go there. Ryan snorted, he was sure they were going to receive that same yelling hurricane he had received the day before. The 23-year old grinned as he imagined Kirsten's reaction to that wino. He was sure that his adoptive mother was about to commit murder when she met him.

The whole Seth problem was really driving him out of his mind. He had a plan of course but he was a little hesitant to employ it. Seth had surprised him yesterday and who knew how many more mysteries were obscured inside this new Seth Cohen. Still though, Seth was one of the most meaningful persons in his life and he wasn't going to stand by and do nothing while he saw him drive through more problems and complications. It was time to prove his worth but for now he'd let Sandy and Kirsten soften him up a bit before throwing his own surprise at Seth.

Ryan looked at the pale sun and realized it was really early. He hardly ever woke up _this_ early on a Sunday. Maybe Damon had a purpose for waking him up instead of the usual 'when I wake up, I wake you up' routine. Ryan chuckled; he remembered his first year at Berkeley. When Damon started waking him up early he had taken a habit of not talking to him for awhile. The fact that a stranger had been trying to control his life had bothered Ryan to no end!

However when he saw that his waking up early helped him in every department of his life he warmed up to Damon, obviously Ryan still hasn't got used to the whole arrangement but his interpretation of the situation told him to fight fire with fire and when, on those rare occasions Ryan woke up _before_ Damon he would make sure to wake him up as well and in the worst way possible (He was secretly annoyed that Damon never complained when he woke him up)

Ryan watched the clock. It was moving rather slowly. Occupying his time never used to be a problem but Ryan felt today was an exception. He didn't feel like doing anything; and he didn't feel like going back to sleep either.

He might study for awhile, though he didn't need it. His work was constantly top notch and he was easily one of the best architects in Berkeley. No…maybe working wasn't a good idea, especially as it was an unwritten rule between Ryan and his mind that no work should be done on Sunday. Yet what was he going to do with his time? Maybe he'd go out and play a game of soccer. That'd be nice; he hadn't played in over a while. Not since that figure appeared outside his apartment.

Ryan had finally settled the matter through the night. He dismissed it as a coincidence. It couldn't be who he thought it was…it was physically impossible for her to be there, it made no sense and he wasn't one to believe in ghosts. But no: soccer wouldn't work either. In case he began hallucinating again.

Ryan had been considering a reunion with his old playstation when Damon bustled in with what appeared to be groceries. "Don't lift a finger Ryan you might die with overworking yourself" complained Damon sarcastically.

"Okay I'll take your advice then" said Ryan cheekily.

Damon glared at him and put everything in place. "So what're we going to do about tonight?" asked his black haired comrade.

"What do you mean?" asked Ryan imperturbably, finishing the last of his cereal.

"I mean what're we going to wear? I'm certainly _not _gonna let you wear a wife beater under your black leather jacket again" remarked Damon while looking at him expectantly.

"Why not" Ryan questioned after a few seconds of pondering the statement

"Dude…" began Damon putting his hand on his face exasperatedly "These are classy ladies, they're not coming here to watch you flex your big nipples"

Ryan thought for a moment before he said "You're just jealous because my nipples are bigger than yours"

"Seriously dude, let's try and wear something more sophisticated" Damon said, this time in a pleading tone.

"I don't see what the big deal is" Ryan retorted "It's not like I'm going to plan a relationship with one of these women" he continued, then he regretted his words as he saw a grin come upon Damon's face.

"Ah so for the first time I'm not the one who's planning to _use_ a woman just to get laid" Damon said in a taunting voice which totally irritated Ryan.

"No, I'm not _planning_ to use anyone. I haven't even had time to think about them you just laid this news on me last night remember?" Ryan said indignantly

"Oh so you're telling me that you _don't _want to get laid?" demanded Damon.

Ryan felt cornered; he didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what he thought about this whole arrangement.

"I don't know. You know what? Stop using your lawyer tricks on me, I don't know what's so special about these women, you date seven women a week I'm sure they're not _that_ different." Ryan said disgustingly.

"True. I do date seven women a week. But the thing is, _you _haven't dated in like forever and this is the first time I managed to get you to agree to meet with some women."

Then comprehension dawned on to him. How could he have been so stupid? His thoughts had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Seth's anger last night _and _with his painful headache that he hadn't even considered not meeting these girls.

Usually he would've refused outright to go out with Damon and try to ignite some romance because of his obvious track record with women but today, without even realizing it. He was set up for a blind date with two women who he probably had never met in his life.

Damon could clearly see what he was thinking by the befuddled expression on Ryan's face and he beamed widely to show him how outsmarted he was.

"You set me up." Ryan stated raucously

"Yep" said Damon simply, seemingly amused at how Ryan was reacting to meet this wonderful opportunity to have a little fun.

A few seconds or even minutes of silence filled Ryan's world. It was as if everything had frozen. They both remained in their positions, merely blinking at each other and waiting for the other to act first.

Ryan decided to go for it.

"So who are they?" Ryan asked timidly

"Yes! That means you're gonna stay."

"Unwillingly, but yeah I'm gonna stay." Stated Ryan, still not happy that he had been outsmarted by his roommate, he'd get him back for this somehow.

Damon was clapping his hands in glee while Ryan was still absorbing this latest bit of information. Then Ryan repeated: "Who are they?"

"Oh…Cassidy Jones and Hannah Platt." Said Damon nonchalantly

"Do I know them?"

"I don't know who you know and who you don't know. _Do _you know them?" Asked Damon

"Don't tell me this is a blind date to you too!" Ryan exclaimed throwing his hands in the air. This was perfect; he was going to meet a bunch of giggling gorillas that would do nothing except drink wine, whisper feverishly between them and caress his chest.

"Well yeah; but don't worry a good friend of mine recommended them." Said Damon but Ryan wasn't satisfied.

He opened his mouth to protest but found nothing to say. He had been on several blind dates with Damon in their first few years of college. Ryan had never met as good-looking and charming as the ones he had in Newport. When he met these blind dates he had acknowledged that his girlfriends from his teenage years were treasures.

He smiled and remembered a particular girl, Anna maybe her name was. She had a big hairy mole above her breasts and kept opening her legs wide innocently as if trying to send him a message that was _too_ obvious. Then when they were alone she had started to get freakishly flirtatious.

"You like what you see?" she had asked him.

"umm…" he had been staring at her mole, but she apparently had been googling her eyes at him so much that she hadn't noticed the revolted look on Ryan's face.

"Come on I know you want me" she had said confidently, giggling and revealing her bucktooth teeth.

He then began to stutter and to waste time. He _hadn't_ liked what he had seen and Ryan remembered he had been cursing Damon so much in his mind that he couldn't keep his attention on the girl.

She got impatient and tried revealing herself to seduce him.

He was horrified and without knowing what had happened he shouted "MOLE!"

Ryan couldn't imagine a more embarrassing moment in his life. She had slapped him hard and stormed out. After that debacle Ryan feared blind dates. He didn't talk to Damon for weeks because of that incident and he _hoped_ it wouldn't happen again. Gossip had been cruel on him after that and no girl looked at him twice. It had followed him around everywhere.

Once he had been distracted during dinner at Sandy's and Sandy had jokingly said "What's the matter Ryan? You see a mole or something?"

That had not been pleasant; he even had a dream about drowning in that girl's mole. If these two girls were _anything_ like that he would make sure Damon got the brunt of it.

The day passed along briskly. Ryan had spent the day catching up on his video game skills after all (he realized that he needed to practice). Playing the video game had reminded him constantly of Seth and he knew he must act soon so that they could play together once more. Even though they were a little old for it now…

The time to meet their dates came and Ryan was about to wear his traditional wife beater with a jacket on top when Damon banished them to a cabinet and locked it. He searched for many clothes before finally settling for a particularly fashionable buttoned shirt littered with a navy and black design and some trendy white pants he hadn't worn for months.

Damon's sense of style was different from Ryan's. He was wearing a casual red V-neck shirt and some up-to-the-minute jeans. He had taken more drastic measures to his appearances than Ryan though. He put a slight amount of hair on his hair so that it wouldn't get messy and he shaved in a precise manner that Ryan could never dream of achieving. This guy was serious about his looks but then again he had always been that way. Ryan on the other hand was the careless I-don't-give-a-damn-about-my-looks kind of guy. It hadn't been that drastic in his teenage years but he now achieved a whole new level.

A light knock on the door ensued.

"Show time" murmured Damon.

Ryan felt his heart beating faster and time seemed to slow down as Damon walked benevolently to the door. He suddenly felt conscious about how he looked. He should've found better clothes. This shirt might have a stain on it. Maybe he should've put on a perfume too. Then he remembered the girl with the mole again and blinked a little too long in trepidation.

He opened his eyes, sweat now forming on his brow and saw the door opening slowly. He could see two slim figures (well at least they weren't fat), one slightly taller than the other. The blonde was breathing more feverishly now, when was the last time he had been on a date with a woman?

The door was finally open and to his dismay Ryan saw two perfectly stunning women staring right back at him.

One of them, the shorter one had curly blonde hair and small beady green eyes. Her nose was a bit long but seemed perfectly trim. She had a round small heart-shaped face and two luscious medium-sized lips. She wore a nervous look on her face and seemed to be even more scared than Ryan was. The girl seemed to be around his age or maybe even younger. 20 at least, she had a pale dress on which complimented her curvy body and made her look even more beautiful than she already was.

But the other girl was more appealing to Ryan. She seemed more confident than her friend and looked maybe a year older than her. Her sleek black hair went down to her back. It was extremely straight like fashion from the last decade but it suited her perfectly. Her eyes were slightly larger than her friend's were also green but a much paler green than the blonde's. Her nose was rougher also but still seemed to withhold a certain amount of grace in it. What most characterized her beauty however was: her skin. It seemed pallid with a hint of pinkish glow that made it as perfect as Ryan could imagine.

Ryan glanced at Damon momentarily and he could see that he was also open-mouthed at the gorgeous beauties before them. Suddenly Ryan was glad he had accepted this blind date. This might not be so bad after all; even if there were moles involved.

The blonde one observed the ground as if she was interested in its design. She was blushing furiously and that gave it away that she didn't like being stared at. On the other hand, the other one seemed completely at ease and seemed to actually be posing for them. Ryan sighed and when he saw that Damon wasn't about to act any time soon he made a brisk step forward and gestured them to come in.

"Nice place you have" said the black haired one amusingly.

"You like it?" asked Ryan, he took great pride and joy in his taste for locations and he liked when he got compliments for it.

"Yes, it's just adorable" her tone wasn't at all to Ryan's liking. It reminded him of Julie Cooper's fake antics. He detected a hint of pride in her deep masculine voice. This however did not stop him from liking her more than the other more reserved girl.

A moment of complete awkwardness passed and then Damon seemed to finally come to his senses. "Well enough about the place. Would you like some wine ladies?" he inquired flashing a wide perfect grin at them. They both seemed impressed and Ryan felt a bit jealous of Damon's action. He felt a bit competitive… 'Let's see who scores more Dam'

Thought Ryan and strangely Damon returned a look of acceptance as if he heard him say it. Ryan returned it with confidence.

Damon got four glasses of rich red wine, which seemed so classical, they hardly swirled when Damon moved them as if trying to keep their posture. His friend held two glasses between is thumb and the inside of his index fingers and two between the outside of his index fingers and middle fingers and he still moved normally!

Ryan took two glasses from him and handed one to the black haired lady. "So do you have a name?" he asked comically with a polite smile. She smiled back and locked onto his face while taking the glass from his sweaty hand. (Ryan could feel Damon giving him a contemptuous look from the other side of the room)

She took a sip and chuckled slightly. "Tell me yours first." She requested. "Ryan, yeah I know boring huh?" he said slowly. Ryan was surprised at himself. He had never been this suave before. He had expected himself to start stammering and saying stupid things but here he was, talking like a professional while Damon struggled to keep up.

"Ryan's not that bad, I kinda like it. Mine's Hannah…now that's—"

"a wonderful name" finished Ryan. He was sure she had been about to say 'boring'. The girl seemed impressed and gave him a small smile while they automatically leaned closer together.

"Come on let's sit down" he told her gesturing towards the couch. He sat down first and wasting no time she sat down next to him, making sure they were close to each other. So close they were he could actually count her eyelashes. She seemed rather snug but Ryan thought it was _too_ close for comfort.

He took a sip of wine and cringed with distaste. Classical red wine was not Ryan's preferred drink. He was more of an occasional beer guy. The taste was rather too strong for Ryan. Yet she seemed to have already drunk half the glass and he didn't want to look outdone at anything.

"So…tell me about you." She gasped after a few seconds silence. "Well…uh" Ryan began; he looked at the blackish flower pattern on the couch. He didn't mention work first because she might take him as the working sort of guy. But what else could he say?

"What do you do?" she asked again, ignoring his lack of words at the previous question. He was about to answer when he heard the blonde haired girl laugh at one of Damon's jokes at the other side of the room. As if reading his mind, Hannah turned towards Damon as well. "I'm in college, studying architecture." He said.

"That's nice." she replied after a second, still gazing at Damon and the blonde while taking another swig of wine.

He felt at a loss of words. How did this happen? One moment he was on top and now he was struggling to make conversation with her. After a second she sighed and turned back to him.

"I'm in college too" she said "Beauty college"

"mm?" he asked dumbly. The wine was not helping matters.

"It's a college for prominent beauticians." She said matter-of-factly.

"That's nice." He replied, partly taking revenge for her lack of interest in his line of work. She scoffed at him and it really didn't do wonders for his confidence but he wasn't down yet.

"So any family?" he asked

"Oh I almost forgot" she began and gave a cold fake laugh that wasn't at all to Ryan's pleasure.

"Cassidy…she's my cousin." Said Hannah and gestured towards the blonde who was now talking feverishly at Damon while he _pretended _to listen. Ryan chuckled, he was used to Damon not listening but Cassidy didn't seem to mind either and her mouth was moving as if run by an engine.

"Oh…your cousin?" he asked dully, this small talk was getting them nowhere. They both looked bored. Damon got the easy one because at least _he_ didn't have to make conversation.

Ryan looked at his glass it was half full while the others' were going through their second glass (Hannah had just finished her second and was now going for her third)

"So…where are you from? You don't look like you're from Berkeley" commented Ryan. Conversation was not his strong point; he usually relied on others to talk for him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she defensively demanded.

"I mean…you're too good-looking to be from around here I think."

Ryan congratulated himself for getting back in the game. He was sure she couldn't attack him after that.

"Oh…well you're right I'm not from Berkeley. I was originally born in Portugal but moved to California when I was twelve." She said dully.

He nodded and noticed that she had helped herself to another glass of wine (this was her fourth). Well it could be worse Ryan thought with a sigh. She could be flirting with him while he stared at her disgusting mole. He perceived that the girl before him didn't look so confident and graceful anymore. She reminded him of a drunken Kirsten. _She_ had been like this. No longer graceful, the girl had her fringe messed up and her attention was focused on Damon and Cassidy.

When Ryan had filled his third glass, she had finished her seventh (Damon had brought another bottle) this was not looking good; but Ryan knew all too well that if he requested for her to stop she would just jump on him and make a scene. To Ryan's relief Cassidy also detected her seemingly bored cousin and requested they go to the bathroom.

Damon strolled over to him with an irksome expression on his face. "Damn that girl talks, she's driving me crazy!" he complained pulling his hair back.

"Yeah well at least she talks, mine just drinks." Ryan said and rolled his eyes.

Everything stopped for a moment. Damon seemed to be concentrating hardly at his wine as if pondering its essence. They could hear Cassidy instructing incomprehensibly. Then Damon turned to Ryan and simply said: "Wanna swap?"

Ryan stared back at him, bemused for a moment before he grinned. "You bet." They both nodded before they saw the girls come out.

Damon briskly walked to Hannah and talked to her; both no longer bored. Cassidy seemed like a third-wheel at that moment. She went shy again and kept trying to avoid Ryan's eyes.

Ryan smiled the wine finally coming through. He walked over to her, the room was spinning slightly. "Hey, Cassidy is it?" he said deeply.

"Yeah" she chirped timidly and resumed to observing the ground.

"Am I that ugly?" He asked profoundly

"What?" she looked up and revealed her confused heart-shaped face.

"I said am I that ugly?"

"No…umm…why?" she said awkwardly.

"Well if I'm not ugly then why are you so focused on staring at the floor, I mean I know it's a lovely floor but it's not _that_ lovely" he said with a dazed smile.

She blushed even more and looked up at him. "Sorry, I tend to get kinda shy when I'm around new people." She said and tried to prevent herself from looking at the ground.

"Don't worry me too and really if it wasn't for this wine I'd be looking at the ground too" he said gesturing toward the glass in his hands.

"You're sweet you know that?" she chuckled. He hadn't been expecting that. He had never expected something so straightforward so now he found that it was his turn to blush.

"So you from here?" she questioned after a few seconds of gauche silence passed.

"Nah, I'm from Newport… I mean Chino." Said Ryan, mildly surprised that he found was correcting himself about his roots. No matter what, he didn't let people forget where he was from. Chino didn't embarrass him, it aided him. It said: This guy has battled against all odds and has achieved something that hardly anyone ever achieves.

"So…which is it?" asked Cassidy shaking him off from his train of thoughts.

"Chino, definitely Chino." He informed with an apologetic smile.

"You wouldn't happen to be lying would you?" she said suspiciously.

"No, of course not" Ryan uttered defensively

"So why did you say Newport?" she asked testily

"Well…long story but basically I grew up in Chino but moved to Newport when I was 16"

"Oh…good cause I don't deal well with liars" she stated, he smiled gingerly at this. "Interesting story…how about you tell it to me sometime?" She requested, her green beads for eyes were pleading and Ryan found himself nodding his head with mesmerised awe at her glowing loving eyes.

She laughed off the tense situation and (like Hannah) started asking him about work. This time he was ready to respond and told her all about his dreams of becoming a good architect. He showed her the value of architecture, why people would want that sort of job. His perspective on things, she was a really good listener.

Ryan told her about Trey, about his mother and his father. He told her about the Cohens, he even mentioned his recent worry over Seth and she said she'd help him if he wanted to. This had taken Ryan aback but he continued to make conversation, even with some occasional awkward silences. He was determined to keep the attention of this one and kept staring into her eyes; hardly blinking. Watching those luscious lips move about also gave him a great amount of satisfaction and he wished he'd be able to see them more clearly. The wine had taken its toll on Ryan. But at least he was talking and chattering away. He had never known another time when he had talked this much…hardly ever. He felt he could only be outdone by Taylor today (No one could talk as fast as her)

Damon also seemed to be making progress with Hannah. They were talking vibrantly and drinking about three times as much as Ryan and Cassidy. Ryan watched them from the corner of his eye. They touched either frequently and he knew it wouldn't be far before foreplay started. They were laughing madly and at one point it really disrupted his conversation with Cassidy. She seemed to be getting more nervous as their laughing grew louder. Maybe she was worried for her cousin? Ryan was glad though, that she kept listening attentively and he was _sure_ she was listening because she kept asking questions in a constant manner.

It was strange how he had been attracted to Hannah more. Now that he examined the two more closely he found that he liked Cassidy more. Was it because she was more beautiful or more sensual than Hannah? Which one it was, Ryan didn't care but all he knew was that if he had to choose who to be in a relationship with: It would be Cassidy.

When he found himself actually considering this he stopped talking abruptly.

"What's the matter Ryan?" Cassidy asked concerned at his sudden halt.

"Oh…um…nothing I just forgot what I was saying." He said stupidly.

"You were telling me how easily you end up fighting with someone" She reminded with a concerned expression still painted on her features.

"Oh right…" His mind had gone blank. This wasn't supposed to happen. He knew Cassidy would want to see him again after tonight and he couldn't possibly break her heart because that would be unbearable. What was he to do? He couldn't get into a plutonic relationship with someone. He didn't want all that drama around this seemingly innocent girl…that he knew nothing about.

It hit him…he had been so focused about explaining himself and his life that he had forgotten to ask about her life, her hobbies, her needs, her work, her family, her _identity_!

All he knew was that her name was Cassidy Jones, she had blonde hair and green eyes, a heart shaped face and the most beautiful lips he had ever seen. On the other hand she knew half of his life by heart by now. As he realized this he attempted to divert the subject away from himself.

"So…Cassidy what about you?" he asked out of the blue.

"What about me?" she said

"I mean…I've been talking about myself for nearly half an hour and I don't know a single thing about you"

"Oh" she said with a chuckle. "Don't worry there's nothing interesting from this side why don't you carry on with your life. It seems waaayyy more interesting than what I have to say" she exclaimed

"Oh I don't know about that" he insisted truthfully staring at her lips once more. The motion they moved was so perfect…

He was about to mention this when he was rudely interrupted by an extremely familiar obnoxious voice.

"Hey guys why don't we all go clubbin'!?" yelled Damon as if Ryan and Cassidy were three miles away.

"I mean…I'm all out of wine and—" he gestured towards the empty bottles and then towards Hannah who was now pink with drunkenness.

"Yeah let's go clubbing" said Hannah enthusiastically

"Yeah sure…okay I guess if you want to?" said Cassidy, tilting her head in Ryan's direction to show that she was referring to him.

"Umm…yeah…why not C-Clubbin' sounds g-great" stammered Ryan with a weak smile

He had been expecting this but he had hoped it wouldn't happen. Damon had mentioned that they might go out afterwards but that meant they should expect some making out and Ryan didn't feel at all up to the task. Firstly his breath smelled like a mixture of nachos and wine (He had been eating nachos while playing with his console). Secondly he didn't really know what this girl wanted out of him _or _what she expected and thirdly Damon was drunk right now so he wasn't about to get him out of any situations. He couldn't communicate with him to tell him about his reluctance to go out "clubbing" where he would probably end up punching some guy who was trying to show everyone what he had under his belt.

Ryan found himself in his trusty Range Rover (Sandy must have delivered it last night.) only seconds later. He followed Damon's instructions to where the 'hottest club' in Berkeley was at. Cassidy was rather quiet during the journey and he didn't dare to look at the other two were doing in the backseat. (Though judging by the lack of sounds they weren't doing anything offensive yet)

The slightly drunken 23-year-old turned another corner and found himself face-to-face with a huge building that flashed the sign: THE ALLEY. It was very impressive at first sight but once you let your eyes focus on the details it was really rather cheap. The sign flashed inconstantly and sometimes one of the 'L's flashed off altogether. The glass on the circular windows above was broken. Part of the bricks had a vast amount of graffiti on it and to top it all off it seemed as if it hadn't been properly cleaned out for over a decade. The bricks were musty and several alley rats were seen scurrying on the sides of the building.

The guards were another disgrace altogether. They were gangly-looking and seemed to be stoned as they just let a couple of wild teenagers in without any consent. One of them was looking at the sky as if a meteor shower was upon them and the other was smiling dim-wittedly at some rats that were probably having an intercourse.

The building was in an area of abandoned warehouses so that no one was disturbed. It was probably the reason why it was so popular. Good instinct by the owners. People could come here and be alone to free themselves for a while before they returned to their routine boring lives. Also it was a place where truants, high-school drop-outs and unemployed law-breakers could come and hang out with their own people. Ryan observed them for a second: They seemed like frail puppies compared to what he was used to see in Chino; with their pierced eyebrows and their lame tattoos. How many of them would not cower away in front of a gun? Or how many of them dared to obstruct justice in the face of the enforcers themselves? They reminded him of that asshole Volchok who was scared when he was intimidated by a piece of glass.

At the thought of Volchok, Ryan's heart twisted inside and gave him the feeling of pure discomfort. Suddenly he wasn't feeling so hot about himself. He shook his head a little to rid away of the memories that were flooding through him like rain on a particular November day.

"Hey Ry, why don't we go out while you find a place to park" Damon had stuck his head from the backseat and had breathed pungent alcohol with every syllable. "Yeah sure" Ryan winced.

"I'm gonna stay with you until you park." Cassidy informed timidly. Ryan looked at her for a second, had she purposely said that to be alone with him? Or was she just not comfortable with being Damon and Hannah's third-wheel. Damon winked at him while both girls weren't looking. He licked his nacho-infested lips in case it was the former.

He heard the last of Hannah's clicking heels that were making their way towards THE ALLEY. This was the start of an eerie silence that Ryan didn't heed too well. What happened to the days when he wasn't this nervous with a girl? What happened to the days when every conversation with a woman was natural to him? If only he hadn't gone through those wretched experiences that have deterred him so. But he knew that he had become wiser through those experiences so he shut up about it in his mind and turned his steering wheel to find a possibly vacant parking space.

There were none and the silence was getting heavier by the second. She was observing the dashboard and for a second Ryan considered repeating the whole 'Am I that ugly?' scenario but he reconsidered when his mind said: 'its lame the second time'.

The Range Rover turned another corner and there was no parking space. Ryan couldn't bear it. What was he to say? Thankfully he didn't have to say anything because she finally spoke up and broke the silence.

"I'm from Portland." She said.

Ryan just looked at her quizzically. "You wanted to know about me, I'm from Portland. I'm the adoptive child of James and Barbara Jones. Both my parents are dead, they lived somewhere in Windsor, Canada and they died when I was three. I'm studying a course in Berkeley to become a social worker." She said nervously in one breath. Then looked at him and added "Thought you oughta know."

Ryan smiled at her and for the first time in that whole night he felt comfortable. Not because she had told him about her background and her aims but because he knew she probably felt more nervous than he did.

"You didn't have to tell me that." Said Ryan as he turned a corner and finally found a parking space.

"I didn't? Hmm…you made it painfully clear that you wanted to know all about me back at the apartment." She said with a smile. "You know, in case I turned out to be a serial killer or something."

Ryan snorted. "Yeah, one hell of a serial killer you'd make. I just said that to stop talking about myself which is not something I usually do" he murmured.

The engine died and Ryan got out of the car. He watched her clumsily get out of the car. The moonlight shone on her face for a second. She looked so stunning it made Ryan nervous to be around her.

She came next to him and they walked towards the club. It was a little far off now that he had finally found a parking space. "Would you have told me you were adopted if you didn't know that I was?" he had been meaning to get that off his chest for some reason.

"No" she truthfully "Don't get me wrong but at this point you're still a total stranger to me." She continued.

"Yeah, you're right." He conceded sympathetically.

They walked further along for a while with nothing to disturb them except their own footsteps echoing along the concrete street and the few footsteps and sounds of rats or other urban animals passing by. "You know, I just thought of something." She said.

"Yeah" What could she possibly want to say? Maybe she regretted telling him about herself? Or was she about to say that she liked him? Probably not; she said he was total stranger to her.

"How are we going to meet up with Hannah and your friend afterwards?"

Ryan thought for a moment. It was true, they hadn't planned to meet at any particular time or at a particular place and Damon and Hannah were probably wasted somewhere behind an alley.

"I'm sure we'll cross paths with them." Ryan said casually, secretly reminding himself to check all the vacant alleys for Damon and Hannah's presence before the night was over.

Another few moments of silence passed with only their clattering footsteps reminding them they weren't alone. "So you work out?" she asked, clearly an attempt at small talk.

"I used to why?" Ryan decided to try and quicken his pace up a bit so they wouldn't have to talk and she wouldn't have to hear his boring monotony. But she seemed rather comfortable at the pace they were walking and he had to slow down a bit so that he wouldn't leave her astray.

"Well you're rather buff." She said in a giggly voice. "Thanks, you don't look bad yourself." He said rather fretfully than he was used to.

"Oh yeah…I used to do gymnastics."

"Why'd you stop?" he asked curiously, this wasn't so bad.

"You know…school and stuff."

"Yeah I understand." He said sincerely.

"But I'm interested in learning how to surf. Isn't Newport great for surfing? That's what I hear. I met this surfer dude once, his name was: Johnny Harper, I think and—"

But Ryan didn't hear her. It was like a wave had come over him and turned off his hearing senses. Why'd she have to mention Johnny Harper, why did life have to throw all these obstacles at him? Why did the girl he was out with tonight have to happen to coincidentally know one of the people he dreaded to remember most? He could hear the sounds coming out of her mouth but he wasn't really listening. He felt a bit angry at her for mentioning Johnny.

He remembered that car ramming into him and _her_ shocked face as it did. It had been his fault he hadn't left, his fault that he had died and therefore it was _his_ fault that_ she_ died.

"Ryan? Are you okay?"

Ryan was brought back to reality, he had stopped walking and his eyes were a bit moist, fortunately his tough Atwood genes prevented tears coming out of his eyes. "You know I don't think this was such a good idea" he said harshly, quickening his pace. She looked aghast at his sudden change of attitude. But he didn't care. He knew she had mentioned him on purpose he just _knew _it. This was a bad idea from the start. Ryan felt like he could kill Damon for throwing him in this mess.

They were finally within earshot of the club's vivacious music. "What wasn't such a good idea?" she asked after keeping up with him. Ryan didn't answer and he sternly looked ahead. The club was only metres away now, he'd find Damon and they would leave or else he would leave.

He couldn't resist but to see her reaction, her hands were now across and her body language wasn't too confident. "I'm sorry…for whatever I did." She uttered meekly when she realized he was taking a glance at her.

Ryan's firm features softened into a more lenient tone. "No I'm sorry…it's just that you reminded me of an incident I had when I was younger…an incident I wanted to forget"

"Oh…surfing?"

"Sort of" Ryan said, and he left it at that.

She smiled compassionately "I'm suddenly not in the mood to party and I'm guessing you're not either."

Ryan gave her a half-smile before shaking his head no.

"There you are: you two!" Said an overly exuberant voice; it was Hannah; Damon was toppling right behind her.

"What happened to you guys?" Damon demanded.

"What happened to _us_? What happened to you?" Cassidy said, and it was true. They both looked like they had been wrestling (though Ryan had a pretty good theory on why that was). Damon's once precise hairstyle now looked as if he had just came out of bed, his shoulders were slump, he was breathing heavily and to top it all off: his shirt was on backwards.

Hannah wasn't any better: her straight hair was now half covering her face, her lipstick was smudged and one of her earring had come off, obviously unbeknownst to her.

Ryan and Cassidy exchanged a look and smiled at each other knowingly.

"So should we get into the club?" Damon requested, now sneaking longing glances at Hannah.

"Wait…you guys haven't got in yet?"

"OH…why of course we did" said Hannah to her cousin while secretly throwing Damon a condescending glance that made Ryan shudder.

"We just came out to wait for you guys…you know it's not a party withoutcha Ryan." Damon said patting him on the back uneasily.

"Ah it's a bit late for the club now." Said Ryan, and it was true: many people were exiting the club and the music was far less energetic than it sounded when they arrived.

"Besides you two look like a mess." Stated Ryan, ignoring Hannah's disapproving look.

"Well you can drop us off two blocks off on the way to your apartment, and then we can walk from there" said Cassidy simply.

Ryan nodded and the four of them went back to the direction where the faithful Range Rover was situated. It was strange: The number four. He never thought he'd be with this group 7 years ago. Was this supposed to be a replacement for Seth, Summer and Marissa? No. His head said: this is less special; it's a one time deal.

Ryan blinked for a moment and he could've sworn that he saw Seth, Summer and Marissa instead of Damon, Hannah and Cassidy (respectively). He shrugged the feeling off and drowsily turned the next corner to be a street closer to his car. Ryan didn't really think Damon was going to make it. His eyes were already drooping and he was leaning on to Ryan like he was some kind of cane!

Ryan vaguely remembered himself and Seth in that same kind of motion. Only Seth was right to lean on him since he had been punched by a water polo player. He snuck a glance at Damon. As fun as Damon was: he was no Seth Cohen and as much as Ryan had thought he and Seth would never be _that _close when he arrived in Newport, he now found himself contradicting that view. He and Seth were so different yet they just clicked. Well they _used_ to click; now he was out "banging" girls. Ryan was going to get him back if it was the last thing he did, and this lingering thought made it possible for Ryan to withstand Damon's weight on him the whole way to the car.

He fired up the engine; the journey back home was different from the one to the club. Cassidy and Hannah sat at the back and he and Damon sat at the front. They were all half-asleep but after a particular incident Ryan was determined never to let any effect him to the point of reckless driving. Even if hadn't been his fault that horrific time.

When he dropped the girls off: Cassidy gave him one last tiny smile and mouthed a 'see you around' before she departed with her taller, more elegant cousin. Ryan drove away happily after that and relief came upon him when he saw his heavenly apartment. He had had a good time but he was rather tired.

"So I couldn't help but notice that you hit it off with the talking one." Remarked Damon, he stifled a yawn.

"Actually she didn't talk that much." Said Ryan unconcernedly

"Wow…so you got laid huh?" Damon had a hint of mischief in his voice, a voice Ryan knew all too well.

"Naw…but you certainly did. Where did you do it?"

"haha…there was this nice private clearing behind the club." Began Damon and explained his little "adventure" while they climbed up the exhaustingly long stairs.

"And then we dressed up and met up with you guys. Anyways for how long did you guys make out before you met with us?" asked Damon matter-of-factly.

Ryan was silent.

"I know you didn't get laid but you _did_ make out didn't you?"

Ryan tried to look for his keys, where were they?

"Oh come on man! I swear you talked about fluffy little ponies with her."

"Hey come on man, not all women are sex objects. I can't believe I'm sharing an apartment with a—"

"--_Straight_ guy" finished Damon annoyingly to Ryan.

Ryan gave him a loathing expression and opened the door with more vigour then he intended to.

They both said nothing and rambled to their beds. They simultaneously took off their clothes and got into their beds.

Then as Ryan was drifting off to sleep Damon said: "Hey Ryan, you don't have to feel bad about messing around, it takes two to tango you know and you could see that Hannah wanted to dance." Joked Damon

Ryan didn't reply. He wasn't mad at him but he didn't know what he was talking about. He _didn't_ feel bad about messing around but he had felt that Cassidy needed to be respected tonight and he didn't want to pressure her into making out with him. It just wasn't his way. Ryan remembered that tiny smile she gave him: _See you around_ she had mouthed.

For the first time in months, no years: Ryan felt great and with that he began dreaming pleasantly of big sharp scissors that were cutting Kevin Volchok into tiny bite-sized pieces.


End file.
